What To Do

 Deciding whether to leave or stay


Often abusive partners plead for another chance.

They may even mean what they say in that moment, but their true intention is to keep you from leaving. Most of the time, they quickly return to their abusive and controlling behaviour once they have been forgiven.

Change can only happen once your partner takes full responsibility for their behaviour and stops blaming you, stress, drug or alcohol abuse, mental health or temper.

You may think that it is your responsibility to fix their problems. But the reality is that by staying and accepting repeated abuse, the abusive behaviour is being reinforced.

Many partners who go through counselling continue to be violent, abusive, and controlling. If your partner has stopped minimising the problem or making excuses, that is a good sign. But you still need to make your decision based on who they are now, not the person you hope they will become.

You may be afraid of what your partner will do, where you will go, or how you will support yourself or your children. But do not let fear of the unknown keep you in a dangerous and unhealthy situation.

Caseworkers at the Domestic Violence Line can provide additional support: 1800 65 64 63.

Deciding whether to leave or stay – safety suggestions

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