Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviour used to instill fear, assert power, and maintain control over another person. It can occur in intimate or family relationships and takes many interconnected forms—none of which are mutually exclusive. Increasingly, the focus has shifted from isolated acts of physical violence to recognising the broader, often more insidious, nature of coercive control: ongoing patterns of domination, isolation, intimidation, and manipulation that erode a person's sense of autonomy and safety.

Key forms of abuse include:

Physical Abuse: Acts of violence that cause harm or the threat of harm to a person's body, children, pets, or belongings. This includes hitting, pushing, kicking, choking, or the use of weapons—acts intended not just to injure, but to intimidate and control.

Sexual Abuse: Any non-consensual sexual activity, including being pressured, coerced, or forced into sexual acts. It can also involve controlling how a person dresses or expresses their sexuality.

Verbal and Emotional Abuse: Tactics that undermine a person’s self-worth or emotional wellbeing, such as yelling, name-calling, persistent criticism, threats, gaslighting, or refusing to engage in communication. It may also involve humiliating a person publicly, sabotaging their role as a parent in front of children, or sharing private images or information without consent.

Domestic violence is not always visible. Its impact is profound and long-lasting, affecting every aspect of a survivor’s life. Understanding the full spectrum of abusive behaviours—especially the subtle but devastating effects of coercive control—is essential in recognising and addressing domestic violence in all its forms.

While physical injuries such as bruises, scratches, or burns can be visible indicators of abuse, domestic and family violence is not always physical — and often, the most damaging forms leave no marks at all.

Many survivors experience coercive control, a pattern of behaviour where the abuser uses manipulation, isolation, intimidation, and control to dominate their partner or family member. These non-physical forms of abuse can be harder to recognise, but there are signs to watch for:

• They appear unusually withdrawn, anxious, or have a noticeable loss of confidence
• They seem fearful or tense around a particular person
• They constantly blame themselves for issues or make excuses for someone else’s behaviour
• They have become socially isolated or have stopped seeing friends and family
• Their partner or family member speaks for them, makes decisions on their behalf, or belittles them publicly
• They mention having no control over their finances or access to money
• They describe their partner as extremely jealous, possessive, or controlling
• They disclose being pressured into sexual activity or forced to comply with unwanted sexual demands

Understanding these signs is vital. If you notice someone exhibiting these behaviours or if something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts — your concern could be the first step in helping them find safety and support.

Domestic violence can have lasting effects, even if there are no visible physical injuries. Whether you’ve experienced physical, emotional, psychological, financial, or sexual abuse, domestic violence counselling can be a critical resource for healing and rebuilding your life.

Domestic violence counselling is beneficial for survivors regardless of whether they are experiencing physical or emotional symptoms. If you’re unsure whether counselling is right for you, here are some signs to look for:

Emotional Symptoms

Survivors of domestic violence may experience a range of emotional symptoms, such as:

• Anxiety or agitation
• Difficulty sleeping or nightmares
• Persistent feelings of depression or hopelessness
• Chronic fear, even in safe environments
• A sense of guilt or belief that they are somehow responsible for the violence
• Flashbacks or strong emotional reactions to reminders of the abuse
• Trouble trusting others or forming healthy relationships

Physical Symptoms

The psychological trauma of abuse can also manifest in physical symptoms, including:

• Chronic tension or unexplained pain
• Headaches, asthma, indigestion, or other stress-related conditions
• Interrupted or poor-quality sleep
• Genital irritation or pelvic pain
• Digestive problems and fatigue

It’s important to understand that even if the abuse wasn’t physical in nature, the emotional and psychological toll can result in physical symptoms.

If you're experiencing any of these emotional or physical symptoms, or if you feel overwhelmed by the trauma of what you've been through, domestic violence counselling may be beneficial. It can provide you with the support and tools to process the abuse, regain control of your life, and begin healing at your own pace.

You don’t have to go through this alone — help is available, and support can make a difference in your journey to recovery.